last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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