I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
