So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
