Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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