just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
