So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
