If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
