i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
