Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
