he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
