Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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