nutella sex= disaster
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize