Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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