She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
