I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
