so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
