Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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