I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
