Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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