his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
