You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize