YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
