dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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