oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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