you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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