mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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