I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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