My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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