youre lurking in front of me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
