i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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