At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
