why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
