I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
