Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
