well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
