It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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