Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
