census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
