Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
