don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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