I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
