But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize