If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He did a backflip because drugs
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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