I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My vagina just clenched in fear
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
