Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
