im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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