He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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