Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
