I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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