Cold hands, warm shart.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
