i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
