Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
