just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
that is very illegal...i love you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
