doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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