1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
