I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
