Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
