You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
