i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
