Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
