on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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